Well, week 2 has passed and it's clear that everyone's team sucks, other than mine. I hope that most of you got the email I sent out at around 5am Monday extolling the virtues of the website my friend Jack told me about. To recap the important points about this exciting new online store:
- It is called the factory of the world.
- All things is very cheap.
- Many surprises are waiting for you.
- And, most importantly: The price of products is great low from there.
Those AC Slaters may have stumbled out of the gate this year, but it's clear that mine is once again the team to beat. Let's get into this week's award winners. No surprises this week as we see some familiar faces both on the top and on the bottom.
The Justin Bieber Award for Inner and Outer Beauty with a Tinge of HomoeroticismOur high-scorer this week was none other than perpetual top-dog Tracy Sessions. I may have taken Drew Brees off his hands this year, but when you can pull 28 points out of the Steelers defense, you are bound to have a strong week. To celebrate, Tracy has changed his name to the Panda Poodles and posted a picture of an abused animal. Way to be, big guy!
The Rihanna-Took-It-In-The-Face-Worse-Than-I-Did-After-Klenk's-Graduation-Party-At-Satisfactions AwardThis goes to Samu once again! Tracy outscored Sam by 60 this week after Sam neglected to bench the concussed Kevin Kolb. Not that it would have made much of a difference this week. If only Sam had a job that gave him computer access on a daily basis; he might have had time to check his team before Sunday. Ah well, this world does need pipe-fitters.
The Bag of Douche Award for Poor Decision-Making
This goes out to reigning champion and perpetual scoring machine Rob Walters. Yes, your starters only scored 58 points and sure your bench only put up 33. You really could not have done much better even if you had made some line-up changes, but the worst part of your week was starting the Giants defense against Indy! Escaping with just -4 fantasy points from your D/ST was incredible, considering the 38 points they gave up. Should have seen that one coming. Foam John worked the waiver wire like it was Moose's grandma this week and made some wholesale changes. I don't expect to see this go-getter at the bottom again this year.
Now a quick question! Who actually reads this blog??? Please talk some shit in the comments section and let yourself be heard!
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3 comments:
Okay, okay. My team is shit.
When you're collectively counting on guys named Beanie, Felix, Demaryius, Succop, and Aromashodu, you're better off at either 1. a rap video 2. Sesame Street or 3. Fantasy football. So clearly not #3.
On the bright side, D. Mason is 38 and no longer talking to the media this season. Maybe closing his mouth will help Flacco remember what color jersey to throw to.
I just added a former sixth round Jon Gruden flunkie QB that plays for Al Davis.
The Giants D gets the scary double-headed monster of Vince Young / Drunken Collins.
I would like to point out that Sam only won this week because I reminded him to change his line-up on Sunday, half an hour before the games started. Since I am playing him this week, this courtesy service may be accidentally overlooked this weekend...
Lovin' it AC. Keep up the commentary!
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